Santa Claus!

I do not believe in Santa Claus.
I’m not the only one, but I do not believe in that man.
Even if someone would come up to me and give me a beautiful gift and says he does so because he is Santa Claus, I do not trust him even more!
To me, he does not exist. In the Netherlands we have the tradition of another ‘Santa’ (‘Sinterklaas’) who will come from Spain with his companion black Peter, in foreign countries known as ‘black Jack’.
My neighbor, a few houses down, ‘plays Santa Claus’ in the last month of the year and so, happily, the kids fall for it without batting an eyelash.
The remaining months of the year, this neighbor apparently plays Beelzebub, when his house becomes subject to vibrations from him, screaming into the walls; I fear not only for their furniture.
Sometimes, his furniture was flying past the window, giving me the idea that he was moving four doors down and he was able to cope without movers. Later on the same day, flying pieces of furniture came back his way after he has told his wife with a bouquet of flowers that he still loves her. He was, then, just for a little while, again playing Santa Claus. The Black Jack has also been given to her.
Oh my goodness!
Santa Claus does not exist.
We discovered that this invisible and mythical figure has taken over our holidays and directed our Dutch traditions to the background.
He arrives invisible from out of the US, on his sled with no flake of snow and in no time all the shops in the Netherlands are filled with Christmas tree ornaments, lights in all shapes and sizes and expels the delicious herb nuts and gingerbread dolls into the cellars until next year.
Those tough dolls are apparently not tough enough, because they allow effortless their own disappearing.
I get off track because it is only just November, right? .
And our Dutch tradition from out of Spain should be celebrated to the 5th of December. But it is already gone.
David Bowie’s ‘This is not America’ sounds symbolic, but, apparently, as a lie from out of my car audio when I drive home with a car full of groceries in neutral November-food. While several gardens are already brighten up with Christmas figures. This is sure America, because apparently that continent does not only bring politically change, but it also culturally have taken over the country.
Away, behind a window, the twinkling lights of a very early Christmas tree let me know that we are moving into the dark days before Christmas.
Meanwhile, “This is not America” still plays on the radio, and I suddenly remember that Santa Claus aka “Santa Claus” could better turn around on his invisible sled and go along to George Bush.
That man, to me, is still looking for a a tidy amount of 40 million dollars to pay back debts after his election campaign, which has cost 273 million dollars, and at the time of his inauguration it was 40 million. He is, in terms of sponsorship money, supposedly broke and currently the entire world pays for him!
Maybe it’s the best solution when a mythical hero is going to help the apocryphal figure.
Then they show up together on the front page of the ‘Fables newspaper myth’.
It really makes no difference whether you are dressed in a red suit with a long white beard, or that you’ve played a role as the president of the United States, because it is proportional to the election results, just as implausible!
We love our ‘Sinterklaas’, to be sure, with all his black servant as we call him ‘zwarte piet’.
We will leave the black Jack to America.


©Irma Schiffers (from ‘Musical Chairs at the hairdressers’– Irma Schiffers 2014)


Barnes & Noble UK


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